What makes me happy - getting compliments about my hair and my 'funky' fashion sense for work. I've been told several times that I have a very distinctive personal style. This makes me happy and think - "it is because I'm a cheapskate who refuses to spend $200 on a skirt when the only thing that makes it different from the $20 skirt is the label." Also, I tend to wear clothing that goes against the 'in' style of the moment, this is usually because I bought it 4 years back, or because it is something mum wore back in the 70s and 80s.

Example:

• Black 3/4 sleeve shirt with this cute blue flower border - mum's.


• Black wool skirt -mum's.


• Blue stockings - mum's.


• White/black checkered coat [it is like Paddignton bear's coat] - mum's, this was from the early 80s.


• Boots - the one new article of clothing that cost me $50, this I shall wear for at least 3 months.


• Red scarf - bought in Singapore for $1. It is gorgeous.

So, my whole outfit cost me $51, this is not counting my bra and underwear, those are expensive and took way too long to get.

Note to self: becoming a vegeterian is much more attractive when it can lead to weight loss. Consider later.

Note to self 2: plucking takes too long, buy foam, wax is scary, and the fact that I trip over my own feet does not inspire the use of a razor... and laser is too expensive.

Note to self 3: Mail DVDs out. i_smile, it is coming!

ETA: What do everyone else use? I think I have asked about this before but I can't find it anywhere, and this time I want SPECIFICS! Gel? Razor? Foam? Wax? NEED INFORMATION!

So, yesterday in an attempt to trim down my stomach fat I decided to start doing stomach crunches... and OMFG! The HUMANITY! The PAIN! The fact that I need to continue to do this for a prolonged amount of time *sobs* How the hell do people do this?!

But my will is strong, and by this time next year I will have a FLAT stomach (or close enough) to flaunt my BELLY! MWAHAHAHAHABWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I might have a slight body-image issue -_-

Another thing: To all future directors,

Well bras (good, expensive ones) does indeed do amazing things to a woman's bust size (gravity defying and increased size), most women does not wear them to sleep. I mean, imagine a man wearing a tight fitting condom to sleep, it just doesn't happen.

Hmm, I seem to be talking about body parts quite a bit in the past few days.

ETA: I'm now the proud owner of a 320GB external hard drive. The STORAGE CAPACITY for my ANIME/MANGA, MUSIC and PRON is AMAZING!

"Don't worry. I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else." -Daria

In the past year or so I lost just over 30 kilos. That's like, uhh, a lots of butter. I'm proud of the effort, and for the first time in awhile now I'm happy with the way I look. So, it's sort of a setback when parents friends' children ask why I'm fat. Que in awkward silence from the parents, the friends and from me.

No, I couldn't kill the fucking kids. They are like 6.

Now I'm sitting in the computer room confronting all my fucking self image issues, just because two fucking kids asked an innocent question. I know I have self esteem problems, and most of the time I can pretty much ignore them, but fuck, there's nothing like the innocent asking pointed questions.

So, contemplating annihilating media enforced images of the Female Beauty (Anorexia is Beauty), and crushing Chinese culture of let's all be 'Frail and graceful'. Fuck you culture, fuck you media, fuck all the people who give both enough credit to brainwash 6-yr-olds.

I really should stop analysing my self worth when I'm hyped up on painkillers. Stopping now. I'm one with the painkillers.

Plucking hurts like a bitch.

I am also -really- hungry.

That's all.