I don't mind if I get smacked down figuratively or literally when I haven't put in the effort that's needed to achieve the objectives. That's fair, I can deal, hell, I deserve it. But, I get fucking furious with myself and life when I put in the fucking effort and I still fucking screw up. I don't need that, I don't need something else in my life that tells me I can't do something because I'm not fucking good enough. Becuase that's shitty and I know I've a fucking self-esteem problem. DAMN IT. I just get so angry with myself. Why the fuck do i even bother if I'm just going to going to screw up and get disappointed anyway. FUCK!!!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

*Takes breath* Feeling slightly better.