I’m currently freaking out at work, as in having mini-panic attacks in my office, and I don’t know why.

I just- there’s 2 months left of this year and I need to produce over 100 pages of content for work, write, edit and post a semi-biographical article for a competition, and navel-gaze on making several changes about the direction of my life and such.

OK, I can possibly see where the panic is coming from.

Went away, got stressed, cried, hated people, hated myself, and I'm currently going through a crisis of lack of faith, and trying to be myself for the first time in awhile now.

One chapter of my life has officially ended and is time to confront this big empty road ahead of me. This is the first time in years now that I just want to pick up and leave, want to do something for myself - wander until I finally get it. Not talking about the meaning of life, just trying to be comfortable in my own skin, if I ever was.

It sure will be interesting.

I don't go online for two days and I have approx 80 backlog entries to go through. Damn, you people write lots. I feel guilty for not reading all of it, but I'm nursing a hangover, and trying not to puke over the keyboard.

I have graduated. Got the certificate that says so, wore the robe (they are damn fidgety, the hood kept on sliding off my shoulder, and pinning it to the front of my bra was uncomfortable), didn't get the hat though. You only get to wear it when you become a POST-GRAD! ARGHH! Unfair, high-school graduates in the US gets the hats, we don't! I feel cheated.

The ceremony was yesterday evening, and it was GOOD, though it did start off rather boring. Too much talking, and I fell asleep half way through the organ music.

Highlights of Graduation:
Second floor of Winthrop hall looked damn cool all lit up.

The organ is HUGE! It takes up a WHOLE wall, and considering the wall is like 25-30 meter wide, and about as tall that's damn impressive.

And the organ music sounded like GAME music! Honest. I kept on making a mental list of what the music was best suited. At one point, we got Introduction of Main Boss, then Character Death, and I'm sure at one point or another we got Earth/nature music. It was hardcore.

The after ceremony reception was cool. Yummy food, and really good wine. Had four glasses, and was definitely beyond tipsy (hence nursing of queasy stomach at present time). But so good. londobell was there, and that made everything so much better.

On a dare by boyfriend (and under the influence) pulled up and my shirt and my bra. Doesn't technically count as flashing as there were no one around. I hope. It was dark.

It was just a great night, and having a sense of closure make it easier somehow.

...you do NOT burst into tears for no apparent reason right in the MIDDLE of the Video Store!

Let's just say it was embarrassing, and I think the guy behind the counter probably never want to see me again. I'm blaming the hormones.

Things change. And sometime the question isn't whether you want the change or not, but rather the consequences of that change. It's always the consequences.