[EDIT: I rec 'Dragonlance: Chronicles' by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. I rec. Go, read. Start from 'Dragons of Autumn Twilight, 'cos you know that's the first book of the series. Go.]

I'm very blur.

Spent about an hour in front of Dragonlance novels today. Was debating whether I wanted to re-read Chronicles and Legends (by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman) again. Finally decided against it. Not because I don't like the series (I spent four years of my life re-reading Chronicles) but rather because I don't want to destroy the memories I have of the series.

See, there is a chance (a small one) that if I were to re-read Chronicles at present time, I'd shred the novels to pieces because I didn't like the prose style. And I'd do anything to keep the memories I have of the series from been altered, or changed in any way, shape, or form. Yes, I'm neurotic that way. But you've to understand, Dragonlance: Chronicles was the first proper fantasy series I ever read, and while I might not remember everything from the series I remember moments, feelings, and the characters.

Chronicles was -THE- series that set the benchmark to all other fantasy novels for me. I remember falling in love with the characters, and then the world. I still remember reading the first few pages of Dragons of Autumn Twilight, and the moment when all the characters were introduced, and Fizban makes his little push to get them involved in the events that changed Krynn. I knew, I just knew that I was going to love this series.

I was in love with Tanis Half-Elven the first time he was introduced, hell, I wanted to marry him (I was 12, shut up... damn, it has been 10 years). Remember hating Strum, and hurting so damn much when the inevitable happened. Adoring Flint, because he was one kick arse Dwarf (his friendship with Tanis made me CRY) and the damn pain I felt when he was gone. Wanting to drop kick Tasslehoff for being a Kender, and later on wanting to cry with him when the world started to fall apart. Highly disliking Laurana, because she was clingy, immature little princess, and then loving her when she became the Golden General, bearing the weight of so much sadness. Goldmoon and Riverwind, one of my first OTP (beside Tanis and Laurana), there's no words for the love I feel for the two, and really their love is only surpassed by Tanis and Laurana, 'cos you know, the latter had the whole longer lifespan v. shorter lifespan angst going for them. Mind you, Gilthanas and Silvara made me all wobbly and sniffly.

Though Kiatara and Tanis was just HOT. I mean really, really HOT. Moving on.

And Caramon and his twin... Raistlin Majere. It made me want to scream in Chronicles but during Legends, I wanted to cry, and rave, because dammit, the series shows us what could have been. Caramon is one of those big, old softies that you can't help but like, and Raisltin.

Oh gods, Raistlin, what do you say to a man that damned himself for his own ambitions. I do remember been fascinated by him (how could anyone not be), by his golden skin, white hair, and his hour-glass eyes that sees the decay of all things. Wanted to love Raistlin, wanted to belief that he was going to make the right choice... and Raistlin was only ever what he always had been.

And the series had DRAGONS! Big, arse kicking, intelligent Dragons! It also had war, loyalty, betrayal, deaths, and the gods. And I remember way too much of this series when I haven't read it in six years. Damn, I love this series to bits.

Oh, what the fuck. I might as well go and buy Dragonlace: Chronicles. Go, and get my hearts ripped out again, 'cos you know the first dozen of times wasn't enough.