I'm curious and this can keep me entertained for hours. So, help? *points to the following*

If My LJ Were Its Own Fandom...

a. Who would people ship me with?
b. Who would be my arch-nemesis?
c. What would a Mary Sue in my fandom be like?
d. When or how did I/will I jump the shark?
e. Write a one sentence summary of the story that would win the Best Fanfic Award in my fandom.
f. What would a typical badfic involve?
g. Who would be the BNFs in my fandom?
h. Why would my fandom end up on fandom_wank?