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knowing death

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knowing death

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Apr. 15th, 2005 at 5:46 PM

My brain is like a cheese grater. Fear my cheese grater brain.

See, this falls under the 'random/strange' comment to get attention (

worldserpent, see me use your intellect.) But honestly, 4+ hours of finance, and I'm kind of not here.

I was reading one of the guild published magazines today while eating lunch. The magazine had one article asking people when they first began to realise that their existence can end, to fear death. The consensus seem to be around the age of 10-12. This, caused me to slow down in my dedicated attempt to swallow my lunch in one gulp. You see, I first realised that death can happen to me, to truly fear death when I was 4/5-yr-old. As you can probably guess, this was not a good thing, in fact it was rather traumatic. The day that I realised I can die, I skipped school, climbed a tree and stayed there until school was finished, thinking mum wouldn't know I had not gone to school for the whole day. I have no idea why I did this (can't remember), all I remember was wanting to hide, and being terrified of having my existence ending. It had just happened to my grandmother, I didn't see why it couldn't happen to me.

And yes, I did get into trouble with mum, though I can't remember if I got punished for it or not. Maybe I should ask her.

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worldserpent.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 15th, 2005 05:33 pm (UTC)

10-12? That's a bit late, don't you think?

I remember when my brother first realized that people (our parents) would eventually die. He was very upset. IIRC this happened when he was about six? Maybe earlier?

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naanima.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 17th, 2005 11:51 pm (UTC)

*nods* I personally think that is very late. Not that it is a bad thing for people to realise it late, but still 10-12 just seem a bit too late.

Hate that, the realisation that your parents aren't always going to be there is in the similar vein as realising that your parents aren't perfect.

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petronia.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 15th, 2005 11:04 pm (UTC)

I don't know when I realised I can die; I think I knew it since my great-grandmother died when I was two. ^^; I didn't fear it until I was 17.

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naanima.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 17th, 2005 11:53 pm (UTC)

Wow. That is early. Hey, 17 is a good time to figure out to fear things. Though realising that and dealing with being 17 can be a real pain. I think I wasbeing all anti-social when I was 17.

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i-smile.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 15th, 2005 11:16 pm (UTC)

Dude, what? Ten to twelve? My big Thoughts at that age (10-12) were all about being ready to wholeheartedly embrace capitalism over communism or socialism. :D I seriously didn't start getting scared of death until, like. Eighteen. And even then, not scared in the well-of-course-I'm-going-to-die way, because how do I know that I will? More in a "I think I'll buy my food in sealed containers or watch you eat it first, because I don't trust that it hasn't been poisoned" way. At twelve, I was only starting to realise that other people really do believe in something they call "god", and it's not just an exclamation or a ritual or a cultural abstraction. At four, I was... throwing tantrums over having to wear shoes to school. Maybe I'm just philosophically slow?

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naanima.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 17th, 2005 11:56 pm (UTC)

d00d! I spent my 10-12 years reading lots and lots of novels (ah, fantasy, how you cahnged my life.) I only realilsed why people believed in "god" when I was 9, I mean before hand I was living in China, and seriosuly there's no way in hell I could undersand the concept of "God" in the Catholic/Christian sense. Superstition I understand in great detail, but "God,"... what an interesting concept. And shoes are very important. Don't think you're philosophically slow, perhaps a better perception of life :D

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i-smile.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 18th, 2005 01:27 am (UTC)

Me, too! (Well, not so much the fantasy, but. Novels.) Except there was still plenty of time to think out my economic point of view. China! Wow. I suppose that is a good reason not to know about god. We had prayer during school assemblies at my first primary school, but it didn't occur to me that it was something people actually believed in. :D Ah, youth.

"Better perception of life." Very diplomatic! :D

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naanima.livejournal.com wrote:

Apr. 18th, 2005 03:50 am (UTC)

Novels, any sort really. I pretty much stopped watching television and moved onto the world of words. Mind you, once I discovered the internet I pretty much left novels (it is the lack of good things to read.)

Yep, the One God thing just didn't click till I moved to Ireland. Suddenly, I was bombarded with religion over-load; schools in Ireland had morning prayers, noon prayers, evening prayers, and the schools actively went to churches to hear mass and communions. That is, if the schools didn't already have a Church of its own (those would be the public school (or private depending on whether you live in the UK area or not.)) Add to the fact that dad made me read the Bible at the age of 9, because he thought it would help with the culture understanding and learning of English. So, I really can't be blamed if I have a preference for Catholicism as a religion. Though I prefer to call my beliefs agnostic.

I try. Beside, as long as I get the point across whey shouldn't I be diplomatic :p

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October 2009